Why Aren't More Therapists in Therapy?
Therapists are trained to provide support, empathy, and guidance to help people navigate life’s most challenging moments. But when it comes to seeking help themselves, a surprising number of therapists aren’t in therapy. It’s a complex issue that touches on personal, professional, and systemic factors, and it raises important questions about the mental health profession itself.
If you’ve ever wondered why more therapists don’t seek out the same care they offer their clients, the answer may surprise you. Let’s explore some of the main reasons why therapists may not be in therapy and what this means for the profession.
The Stigma Around Seeking Help
One might assume that therapists, of all people, would be free from the stigma associated with seeking mental health support. After all, they know firsthand the benefits of therapy and how terminal mental illness can be without intervention. However, the reality is that therapists are not immune to societal pressures, including the pervasive belief that asking for help is a sign of weakness or incompetence. Surprisingly, even within the counseling community, stigma continues to persist.
Some therapists worry that if they admit to needing therapy, it could reflect poorly on their professionalism. There’s an unspoken expectation that therapists should have it all together. After all, there is a false belief within society and within the profession if they can’t manage their own mental health, how can they help others? This fear of judgment, both from others and from themselves, can prevent therapists from reaching out for the help they need. Unfortunately, the supervision and consultation process should be an opportunity to offer additional support and connect to specialized therapy if needed. However, the need to appear competent can override the desire to ask for help.
The “Helper” Mentality
Many therapists enter the profession because they are natural caretakers. Most therapists were “mini therapists” to their friends and family their entire lives, and may be driven by a desire to help others and provide a sense of stability and care. This “helper” mentality is a double-edged sword. While it fuels the passion to care for others, it can also make it difficult for therapists to prioritize their own needs. Additionally, graduate schools and therapy programs instill the idea that therapists should focus on client care first and self-care second, making it less likely for therapists to seek help when they most need it.
Therapists often feel a deep sense of responsibility for their clients, family, and friends. They spend their days pouring emotional energy into their work, which can lead to burnout and compassion fatigue. By the time they get around to thinking about their own needs, they may feel too exhausted to seek help. It’s a classic case of the caregiver neglecting their own self-care because they are so focused on the needs of others. Unfortunately, many therapists tend to also be people-pleasers, which connects their sense of worth and purpose to sacrificing their own needs and reinforcing the harmful helper mentality.
The “I Should Know Better” Trap
Therapists possess a wealth of knowledge about mental health, emotional regulation, and coping strategies. Because of this, many fall into the trap of believing they should be able to handle their own problems without outside help. There’s a sense of, “I should know better.”
This mindset can be especially dangerous for therapists because it can lead to feelings of shame or inadequacy when they face challenges they can’t easily resolve. Just like any other human being, therapists experience stress, grief, anxiety, and depression. However, their deep understanding of psychological theories and techniques may cause them to think they “should” be able to solve these problems on their own. Most of my clients try to “therapitize” themselves before coming to see me, which never works.
It’s important to remember that being a therapist doesn’t make someone immune to life’s hardships. Knowing about mental health does not mean someone can always manage their own in isolation. This is why therapists need to practice giving themselves permission to be human and seek support from other professionals when they need it. Just like how a dentist can’t clean their own teeth, and doctors have to see other doctors when they are sick, therapists need to see other therapists.
Financial Barriers
For many therapists, the decision not to seek therapy is driven by practical considerations like cost. Therapists are some of the lowest-paying health professionals, and may not be earning an appropriate living if accepting low reimbursement rates from insurance companies or EAPs. And, if a therapist is a private practice owner, health insurance is a large expense with inadequate coverage for mental health. Without appropriate compensation, specialized therapy
may be expensive and seen as a “luxury” especially when therapists may be burdened with student loan debt, fluctuating income, and the high costs associated with running a business.
Even when therapists have insurance access, finding a provider who accepts their insurance and specializes in working with therapists can be challenging. Many therapists, especially those who value privacy and prefer to seek therapy outside of their professional circle, opt for private-pay therapists which entails a higher financial burden.
Time Constraints & Lack of Boundaries
The work of a therapist can be all-consuming, especially if a therapist is headed for burnout and struggling with people-pleasing. Many burned-out therapists work long hours and carry large caseloads, which leaves them with little time to focus on their own mental health. For therapists in private practice, there’s also the added responsibility of running a business, which can be stressful and time-consuming. Moreover, the emotional labor of therapy work is significant. After spending an entire day holding space for others, the idea of dedicating even more emotional energy to their own therapy can feel overwhelming. Most therapists might have started a routine of dissociating on their couch scrolling instagram after work over finding an appropriate therapist.
Next, therapists are often taught about the importance of boundaries in their work with clients, but setting and maintaining boundaries in their own lives can be difficult. Therapists may struggle with saying “no” to additional responsibilities, whether that’s scheduling more clients, taking on administrative work, or juggling personal and professional demands. Without strong boundaries in place, finding time and mental space for their own therapy can feel impossible.
Fear of Vulnerability
Therapists are accustomed to being in control of the therapy room, guiding their clients through the process of introspection and healing. But when it comes to being in the client’s seat, it can be uncomfortable. Therapy requires vulnerability, and for many therapists, being vulnerable with another professional can feel unsettling. The idea of exposing their own challenges and imperfections, particularly to a peer, can trigger anxiety or self-consciousness.
Therapists may also worry about confidentiality, particularly if they are seeking therapy in the same community where they practice. Even with ethical standards in place to protect client confidentiality, therapists may feel uneasy about disclosing personal information to someone who may know them professionally. Luckily, this is why I offer virtual services throughout Texas - I offer a more private space away from your community where there is less chance you run into someone you know.
That Sucks. What Can Be Done?
If we want to create a culture where more therapists feel comfortable seeking therapy, change needs to happen on multiple levels. First, we need to address the stigma surrounding therapists seeking help. Therapists, like anyone else, deserve access to care without judgment or shame. Second, financial barriers and time constraints also need to be addressed. Whether that means creating more affordable therapy options for mental health professionals or encouraging therapists to set stronger boundaries around their own well-being, these challenges cannot be ignored.
Finally, therapists need to give themselves permission to seek support. Therapy is not a sign of weakness—it’s a tool for growth and self-care. By taking the step to engage in their own therapy, therapists can not only improve their well-being but also model the importance of self-care to their clients.