Balancing Act: Navigating Financial Self-Care as an Overachiever & People Pleaser
A close-up photograph of a classic pink piggy bank placed on a white background creating a sense of comfort and security, emphasizing the theme of financial self-care
As overachievers and people pleasers, we often find ourselves caught in a relentless cycle of striving for perfection and prioritizing the needs of others above our own. While this drive can be helpful at times, it can also lead to neglecting crucial aspects of our well-being, including our financial health. In the pursuit of meeting external expectations and maintaining a facade of “having it all together”, we may sacrifice our financial goals. However, by recognizing the unique challenges overachievers and people pleasers face, you can cultivate a more balanced approach to managing finances and prioritizing your well-being.
Understanding the Challenges:
As overachievers, you are accustomed to setting high standards for yourself and relentlessly pursuing success in every aspect of your life. This drive for excellence can manifest in our financial habits as well, leading us to strive for financial achievements and accolades as a measure of our worth and value.
Similarly, as people-pleasers, we are inclined to prioritize the needs and desires of others above our own, often at the expense of our well-being. We may find ourselves saying yes to financial commitments or obligations that are not in alignment with our priorities or values, simply to avoid disappointing or upsetting others.
Embracing Financial Self-Care:
Despite the challenges overachievers and people pleasers may encounter, it is possible to cultivate a more mindful and empowered approach to financial self-care. Here are some strategies to help navigate this more complex journey:
1. Define Your Own Definition of Success:
Challenge the conventional notions of success and achievement that may have been imposed upon you by external sources (like social media, friends, etc). Take the time to reflect on what financial success means to YOU personally, independent of societal or familial pressures. By defining your own criteria for success, you can align your financial goals with your values and priorities. Ask yourself: what does your rich life look like?
2. Set Boundaries and Prioritize Your Needs:
Practice saying no to financial commitments or requests that do not serve your best interests or align with your long-term goals. Set clear boundaries around your time, energy, and resources, and prioritize your own financial well-being above the expectations of others even if it is uncomfortable to tell others you need different plans, can’t attend, or can’t afford to.
3. Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Money:
Explore your beliefs and attitudes towards money, and identify any underlying fears or generational traumas that may be driving your financial behaviors. Work with a therapist to practice self-compassion and forgiveness towards yourself for past financial mistakes, and focus on using past mistakes to move forward. Remember: money choices and debt are morally neutral, and abundance is possible.
5. Seek Support and Accountability:
Reach out to friends, family members, or financial professionals for support and guidance on your journey towards financial self-care. Surround yourself with individuals who encourage and empower you to prioritize your own well-being and make informed financial decisions. Most folks have not received enough basic money education to be financially literate, but you are fully capable of learning.
I recommend the following female personal finance experts because they avoid shame and tackle the effects of systemic issues on individual finances.
Money with Katie Podcast: https://moneywithkatie.com/
Tori Dunlap’s Financial Feminist Book: https://bookshop.org/p/books/financial-feminist-overcome-the-patriarchy-s-bullsh-t-to-master-your-money-and-build-a-life-you-love-tori-dunlap/18588721?ean=9780063260269
Tori Dunlap’s Her first 100K: https://herfirst100k.com/
LIMB with Tiffany: https://leaninmakebank.com/
TLDR:
Navigating financial self-care as an overachiever and people pleaser can be a challenging yet rewarding journey. By acknowledging the unique challenges and adopting strategies to prioritize your own well-being, you can cultivate a healthier and more sustainable relationship with money. Remember that financial self-care is not about perfection or external validation; it is about honoring our own needs and values and creating a life of abundance and fulfillment on your terms.
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