Why You Stay with a “Good Enough” Therapist

✨ Are you staying with a "good enough" therapist because you think it's all you deserve? ✨

Limiting beliefs like "I'm not important enough" or "Change is too hard" can keep us stuck in therapeutic relationships that no longer serve our growth. But therapy isn’t about settling—it’s about finding the support that aligns with your needs.

If you’re feeling uncertain about whether to stay or move on, this blog explores why we hold onto "good enough" and how to take the courageous step toward something better. 💚

When you think about your therapy journey, how often have you questioned whether your current therapist is the right fit? Maybe they’re not bad—your sessions are helpful enough, and you’re making some progress. But deep down, something feels off. And you’ve even said this to some of your friends. Despite this feeling, you stay. Why?

For many people, staying with a “good enough” therapist isn’t about the therapist at all—it’s about the beliefs we carry about ourselves. These beliefs can create invisible barriers that keep us from pursuing the best therapeutic relationship for our growth and healing.

The Beliefs That Keep You Stuck

1. “I’m not important enough to deserve better.”

At the core of many people’s hesitance to change therapists is a deep-seated belief that they aren’t worthy of prioritizing their needs. If you’ve spent much of your life putting others first, it can feel selfish to say, “This isn’t working for me anymore.” You might tell yourself, “It’s not that bad,” or “I should just be grateful for the support I have.”

But therapy isn’t about “good enough”; it’s about you. A therapist should help you feel empowered, seen, and fully supported as you work through life’s challenges. You are worthy of the care you need—without compromise.  If we act in ways that align with how we see ourselves - how is staying with a ‘good enough’ therapist reflective of how you see yourself?

2. “Change is too hard.”

Switching therapists can feel daunting. There’s the discomfort of starting over, sharing your story again, and navigating the awkwardness of leaving your current therapist. This feels like too much effort for some, especially if you’re already struggling. The thought of retelling the traumas and the dramas can be exhausting, but if you sign a release of information, your previous therapist can share notes and offer a warm handoff with your new therapist to alleviate this worry.

This belief that “change is too hard” often ties to a fear of disrupting the status quo and difficulty tolerating discomfort. But growth rarely happens in comfort. And what is familiar isn’t always what is comfortable. Acknowledging that your needs have evolved is a sign of progress, not failure.

3. “I don’t trust myself to know what’s right.”

Doubt can creep in when you’re deciding whether to end a therapeutic relationship. Questions like “What if I regret this?” or “What if the next therapist isn’t as good?” might hold you back.  Ultimately, these doubts often stem from a lack of trust in your judgment, which may be tied to past experiences of feeling dismissed or invalidated. Therapy is supposed to strengthen your sense of self-trust, not erode it. If you find yourself consistently second-guessing your feelings in therapy, it might be a sign that this therapist isn’t helping you fully step into your confidence.

4. “Good enough is all I deserve.”

Sometimes, staying with a “good enough” therapist reflects a belief that you shouldn’t ask for more. Maybe you’ve been taught that expecting greatness is unrealistic or selfish. Or perhaps you worry about being “too much” or “too difficult” for a new therapist to handle.  Holding this belief diminishes your value and underestimates the vast network of therapists who would be honored to support you. You deserve a therapist who aligns with your needs and helps you reach your highest potential! Letting go of something good enough allows for space and energy to find what is great for you.

Why Letting Go Is an Act of Courage

Leaving a therapist who is “good enough” is not a reflection of their skills or worth—it’s an act of courage and self-respect. It means you’re willing to advocate for yourself and prioritize your growth, even when it feels uncomfortable.  Think of it this way: would you stay in a “good enough” relationship, job, or friendship if it wasn’t meeting your needs? Why should therapy be any different?

I recently went through a similar situation where I broke up with my therapist (your grandtherapist), not because she wasn’t a skilled clinician but because I needed more specialized treatment than she could offer. It was an incredibly difficult and uncomfortable conversation, but I am forever grateful that she helped me get to a point where I could recognize what was best for me. And, you know she is great because I would still refer my friends & family to her!

Signs It Might Be Time to Move On

If you’re still unsure, consider these signs that it might be time to find a new therapist:

- You feel unheard or misunderstood. A strong therapeutic connection is built on feeling truly seen and validated.

- Your needs have changed. Therapy goals evolve. If your therapist isn’t adapting to those changes, it might be time to move on.

- You dread your sessions. Therapy should challenge you, but it shouldn’t feel like a chore.

- You’ve plateaued in your progress. If sessions feel stagnant, a fresh perspective might be what you need.

How to Take the Next Step

Deciding to leave a therapist can feel heavy, but it doesn’t have to be a negative experience. Start by reflecting on what you want from therapy and whether your current therapist aligns with those needs. If the answer is no, moving forward with gratitude for what you’ve learned so far is okay.

When you’re ready to take the next step, search for a therapist whose approach resonates. I recommend asking your current therapist for a referral or checking out Therapy Den or Inclusive Therapists. Look for someone who specializes in your current challenges and aligns with your values. Most importantly, remember that this process is about finding the support you deserve—not settling for less.

You Are Worth It

Choosing to leave a “good enough” therapist doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or difficult. It means you believe in your worth and are willing to pursue the support that aligns with your goals. Therapy is a space to honor yourself, challenge limiting beliefs, and create a life that feels authentic to you.

You are important. You are worthy. And you deserve more than “good enough.”