I Will Die on This Hill: Why Therapists Need Therapy
🌄 I will die on this hill: therapists need therapy.
Being a therapist doesn’t mean we’re exempt from needing support. In fact, the emotional weight of holding space for others practically guarantees that we do. Therapy gives us a chance to process our own experiences, work through challenges, and show up authentically—not just for our clients, but for ourselves.
If you’re in the trenches of therapy work, especially here in Texas, and you’re thinking, “Do I really need therapy?” the answer is a resounding yes. Let’s make it part of the journey.
If you’re a therapist reading this and thinking, I don’t need therapy—I’m fine, allow me to lovingly (but firmly) call you out. Being a therapist doesn’t magically exempt you from needing support—in fact, it practically guarantees you need it. Let’s face it: therapists are not immune to burnout, stress, or the emotional toll of holding space for others. And if you think otherwise, buckle up. I’m here to tell you exactly why therapists need therapy, no exceptions.
1. We Hold Everyone Else’s Emotions, but Who Holds Ours?
Therapists are prone to be emotional sponges. We sit with clients’ grief, anger, trauma, and despair, session after session. Sure, we’re trained to create boundaries, but let’s be real: we’re human. Emotional residue sticks. Therapy gives us a chance to wring out the sponge and process everything we absorb so we don’t carry it into our personal lives (or the next session). It’s not just self-care; it’s survival.
2. The "Helper Complex" Will Run You into the Ground
Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought, I can’t take a day off; my clients need me. *Raises my hand*
Therapists often struggle with their own people-pleasing tendencies—we’re drawn to this field as wounded healers who genuinely want to help. But constantly putting others first isn’t sustainable. Therapy forces us to confront our own martyr complex and prioritize our well-being, which—spoiler alert—actually makes us better therapists.
3. Burnout Is Real, and It’s Ugly
Ever felt emotionally numb after back-to-back sessions? Caught yourself zoning out during a client’s story because your brain is fried? That’s burnout knocking, and it doesn’t go away on its own. Therapists are prime candidates for burnout because we’re deeply invested in our work and typically underpaid in broken healthcare systems. Therapy helps us recognize the early signs, make sustainable changes, and recover before we’re too crispy to be effective.
4. Countertransference Is Sneaky
You’re human, and that means you bring your own baggage into the therapy room. Maybe a client reminds you of your ex, your mom, or (God forbid) yourself. Most therapists specialize in a niche that reflects at least a part of themselves, and allowing yourself to emotionally bleed onto your clients is an ethical problem. Therapy is where we unpack our unresolved issues, so we’re not projecting them onto our clients. If you’re not actively working on this, you’re doing a disservice to the people who trust you to be objective.
5. We’re Not Superhuman—and Pretending We Are Is Utter Bullshit
Therapists often feel pressure to have it all together. After all, how can we guide others if we’re struggling ourselves? But newsflash: no one has it all together, including us. Therapy is where we drop the act and admit, Yeah, I’m struggling too. It’s a space to be real and vulnerable so we don’t implode under the weight of our own perfectionism.
I share with my clients this metaphor to emphasize the importance of vulnerability: As a kid, there were these sticky hands that you could get out of gumball machines that you could throw against different surfaces, and they would stick. But, if you threw them against enough things (and I did), you learned that if the surface was perfectly smooth, then there was nothing for the toy to ‘stick’ to. But, if the wall had some imperfections and bumps, then the toy would stay forever. The moral of the story? As people, we ‘stick’ better to people who aren’t afraid to show a little imperfection because we bond over those similarities.
6. We Deserve the Same Compassion We Preach
We’re experts at encouraging clients to practice self-compassion, but when was the last time we extended the same kindness to ourselves? If it took you more than five seconds to answer, it’s been too long. Therapy reminds us that we’re just as deserving of care and compassion as the people we help. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary.
Here is another metaphor: Therapy isn’t a luxury—it’s like medicine, not an optional supplement. While vitamins may boost your health, medicine is essential when it comes to truly addressing the problem. Therapy goes deeper than just managing your overwhelm or anxiety; it helps you heal and find lasting balance. When you feel drained, resentful, or like you’re running on empty, it’s a sign that your emotional well-being needs more than just surface-level care. By prioritizing therapy, you’re choosing the help that gets to the root of the issue, allowing you to not just survive but thrive in both your personal and professional life. Taking this step isn’t indulgence—you must keep showing up for others and, most importantly, yourself.
7. Therapy Keeps Us Ethical
Unprocessed emotions can cloud judgment. Therapy helps us stay clear-headed and ethical in our practice. It’s a safeguard against slipping into territory where we’re making decisions based on our own unmet needs rather than what’s best for the client.
8. The Work We Do Is Inherently Lonely
Yes, we’re surrounded by people all day, but how often do we get to talk about our struggles? Especially for those of us working virtually, it’s easy to go through the entire day in silence about our own experiences. Therapy gives us a space to be seen and heard—not as a professional, but as a person. It’s a reminder that we don’t have to carry the weight of the world alone.
9. Our Personal Lives Affect Our Work
Whether it’s a fight with your partner, a health scare, or just the daily grind of life, personal stress doesn’t magically disappear when you’re in session. Therapy helps us process these distractions so we can show up fully for our clients without bringing our chaos into the room.
10. We Need to Model What We Teach
How can we expect clients to open up, embrace vulnerability, and prioritize their mental health if we’re not doing the same? Therapy isn’t just for our benefit; it’s a way to lead by example. When we’ve walked the path ourselves, we’re better equipped to guide others. After all, we can only take people as far as we’ve gone in our journeys. Actively engaging in our growth not only enriches our practice but also inspires our clients to do the same.
11. The Texas Therapy Scene Is No Joke
If you’re practicing in Texas, you already know the unique challenges we face: difficult fights with insurance for reimbursement or coverage, high demand from therapy seekers, and the emotional toll of navigating our client’s needs in a state where mental health resources are stretched thin (and highly politicized). Therapy isn’t just helpful here; it’s essential. (And if you’re looking for "therapy for therapists in Texas," let’s chat!)
12. Therapists Are Allowed to Be Messy, Too
There’s an unspoken expectation that therapists have their lives perfectly together. But guess what? We’re messy, complicated, and imperfect—just like everyone else. Therapy is where we embrace that messiness without judgment. A client recently was sharing how frustrated they were about self-criticism being their first response. And I appropriately shared that my typical response is to panic, cry, then take a nap. My client was genuinely surprised that I struggled with life, too!
Therapy for Therapists in Texas (and Beyond): A Final Word
Therapists need therapy. Full stop. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Not because we’re failing but because we’re human. And if you’re practicing in Texas, where the mental health landscape is challenging (and rewarding), having your own therapist is a game-changer. It’s not just about surviving the job; it’s about thriving in it.
Not that long ago, I met a practicing therapist at a networking dinner that admitted she hasn’t been in therapy FOR OVER 13 years. There is no way that I would recommend a client or a loved one to someone who hasn’t spent time on the other side of the therapy chair. At the end of the dinner, after this therapist was complaining about burnout and repeating, “I just don’t know how to keep doing this,” I slid my card across the table.
So, if you’ve been putting off therapy because you think you don’t need it, consider this your wake-up call. Book the session. Find someone who gets it. And if you’re looking for therapy for therapists in Texas, I’d love to help. Let me help you prioritize you.