3 minute read: friendship breakups

It is difficult to know when it is time to let go of a friendship, and ending a friendship can be as painful as ending a romantic relationship. Friends play an important role in our lives, but if you are thinking it may be time to dump your friend, you’re probably right. Odds are that minimum, the relationship needs to change.

Three women laughing arm-in-arm representing the importance of friendship and social supports, while also recognizing that friendships don’t always last forever

Before preparing for a friend breakup, ask yourself if you have communicated clearly with your friend about what is bothering you. If you haven’t had a conversation, then it isn’t time to let go. Use I-statements and specific examples to have a more productive conversation with less defensiveness. Next, be clear and ask for what you need in order to continue the relationship. Boundaries are the rules we set so that we can safely engage with other people. Boundaries are not mean or confrontational, but communicate we want the friendship to continue!

Signs:

• Your needs or values are being ignored

• You start to feel resentful

• You do not feel like you can be yourself

• They are engaging in harmful behavior

If you have communicated your boundaries, and your friend continues to ignore or disrespect them, then the ball is in your court. Are you willing to tolerate this behavior? If not, you have the choice to disengage and let go of the friendship.